


Blurt

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Fluff & Angst [207]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 13:10:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10617579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Hux doesn't know how to ask...





	

Hux knows they’re not a ‘traditional’ couple. Nothing about them has gone the way the stories are supposed to go, the ones where everything is Perfect, or even the ones where They Hate One Another And It Turns Out To Be Love. Yes, they were antagonistic to start off with, but they’d grown past that. 

Every step has been an awkward toeing around, with both of them too stupid, or too stubborn to actually _ask_. From colleagues to comrades, from gentle brushes to lingering touches. From whispered secrets, to whispered kisses. From awkward bedmates to lovers, and somewhere along the line… feelings. 

Well. If Hux is honest with himself, he’s had feelings for longer than they’ve been touching. He just wasn’t aware if Kylo reciprocated for the longest time, even though they spent all the time they could together. Hux knew it was ridiculous to pine _whilst in a relationship_ , but he always worried he was more invested than Kylo.

After all, Kylo could have his pick of anyone he wanted. Handsome, strong, smart, funny… He’d watch his lover with hurting eyes, unable to look away. 

The first time the _word_ was mentioned, Hux almost worried he’d throw up. Only the answering terror on Kylo’s face reassured him that it was _real_. It was _reciprocated_. It wasn’t him having some lovestruck crush on someone who just wanted casual sex and cuddles. Kylo was utterly petrified, too, and they’d laughed and made love - real love - for the first time. Full of tiny kisses and soft touches, hands in hair and tears tasted by lips across their cheeks. 

And ever since, Hux has fallen deeper into it, every day. He’d thought - once - that he was broken. He’d thought he _couldn’t_ love, because he never had. He’d thought he was doomed to live a life alone, and then suddenly - without his permission - this man had walked in and taken up prime location in his heart. He’d become so important to Hux that his happiness was as important as any mission.

Yes. Him.

He thought about him when he woke up. He thought about him when he was away, even just for a few hours. He saw amusing articles and he wanted to share them. He heard gossip and the first thought was ‘I need to tell Kylo’. He liked just spending time with him, doing nothing really important, and he felt happy in his arms, in his bed, in his life.

Kylo.

But he doesn’t know if it’s one thing too far. Is it? Why isn’t it enough that they live together? That they curl up and sleep wrapped in one another’s arms? That they talk about their days? That Kylo tells him he loves him?

It is enough, but it is also… not. 

Hux wants to make it official. Really official, and not just in a ‘you don’t actually have your own room any more except on flimsi’. He wants to declare it to the galaxy, and he wants to know Kylo has decided it’s him. Not just for now, not just for the next year, but forever. He wants to know - to feel - to _be_ \- forever. 

And he isn’t sure if Kylo would agree. If he asks, and Kylo isn’t really as sure, or he isn’t interested in the formality of it, or… any reason… will it spoil things? Of course. Because Hux will have made an overture that Kylo couldn’t (or wouldn’t) match. It will mean they’re not looking for the same thing, and Hux isn’t sure he can live with that.

Or. He can. But he’ll be sad. And Kylo will resent him. And it’s just a stupid _formality_. It means literally nothing, not to them. They can’t have children (and even if they could, they could do it without marriage), there’s no tax benefits, and there’s… just… no actual, tangible, external reason to do it.

 _And every reason in the galaxy to want it so you know the other person thinks the same of you as you do of them_.

Stupid. Stupid.

Even if he _could_ make himself propose, he doesn’t even know how. Anything too grandiose and it would be overblown, and fall flat if it turned into a no. Or risk getting a pressured ‘yes’ that wasn’t genuine. And if he tried for lowkey… it would look like he wasn’t invested, or serious enough. And if he tried to ask beforehand if he was _maybe_ interested, it would show his hand and…

WHY IS EVERYTHING SO HARD?

Hux frets about it, all the way up until Kylo doesn’t come home when he’s supposed to.

The first he hears about it is a blip on his comm, informing him that Lord Ren’s shuttle is overdue. He clocks it, stores it, and moves on.

Well. For an hour.

And then it starts to scratch at his mind, and he pulls up the comm message again, trying to analyse it for secret, deeper meanings. The way it’s worded, the information contained… nope. He sends it back with an ‘UPDATE REQUIRED’ note, and then can’t pay attention to _anything else_ until it comes back.

‘CONTACT LOST WITH SHUTTLE.’  


Contact lost could be a communications failure. Or they could all be… busy? Or… they could be… they could be dead. He could be dead. Kylo could be dead, right now, and he could have been for hours and _Hux wouldn’t know_. 

His whole heart could be smashed up - his reason for being - cut in two, or blown to pieces. He could - he - 

‘CONTACT RE-ESTABLISHED.’  


Hux nods, barks out a brusque command, and strides off the deck to freak out all the way to the shuttle bay. Public audience be _damned_.

***

His legs are wobbling, and he’s feeling woozy. Sort of… drunk, without the fun bit, first. He’s cold and hot and his heart still won’t slow down, and it’s barely any time from the shuttle’s ramp descending before he flies up it and at Kylo.

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU SCARED ME TO DEATH!”  


“I’m sorry… we had a run in with some Resistance…”  


“YOU NEARLY DIED.”  


Kylo looks around awkwardly at the Stormtroopers, then back at him. “Hux, what’s–?”

“You are the most important thing I ever found in the whole galaxy, and you’re _not_ allowed to die, because I _forbid it_ , and– and–” Fuck it. “I’m going to marry you, if you like it or not.”  


Okay, not really a proposal. Kylo’s masked head stares, and then he’s ripping it off, and Hux feels his balls retreat somewhere up behind his ribs. He’s standing as firmly as he can when Kylo grabs his shirt, and smashes their mouths together. 

Now _everyone_ has seen. And apparently, Kylo _does_ feel as deeply as he does, because he _never_ takes his mask off in public. Not ever. Not once. 

Fingers in those dark curls, and he plasters himself to Kylo’s chest, feeling the thudding of his lover’s - his _fiancé’s_ heart against his breast.

“I thought you’d never ask,” is the first thing he says, when they finally stop for air.  


“Well. I did. So…”  


“ _Yes_ , Hux. **Yes**.”  


Good.


End file.
